Spider in the Shower Wisdom

image

In an age of so much door-stop wisdom in flashy colors and streams,

Profundity hides harder to recognize in tastes-great–less-filling sweetie ah-bites.

And when everyone’s grandmother publishes, words do not come easily any more, all lost in 

Endless letters combined, re-combined and strewn everywhere, making 

Nonsense seem sense or not even bothering, words without aching indescribably churning or heart-

Rent fluid affecting, infectious and ever-in-the ears and eyes inscription, just syllables,

nothing more. 

I can’t hear myself think over the noise of it, the shrill deprecating humor,

Blunt, sword-slicing insults and chiding, scolding and deriding, nothing but chatter-ful ticks.

How to be mindful when the mind chitters and bakes under the halitosis heat?

Sweltering  discomfort in knowing my life is in the hands of self-sabotaging

Zealots and bonzai bitchers and moaners, paraders and inert blabberers.

But there is some thing, something…

I see it in the piss-yellow plumped plastic medicine bag

pole-hanging to high heaven

with streaming liquid hope in thin rubber tubes of curative culture like an i.v. of satisfaction.

It’s there in the splayed legs of a stiffening spider fending off the drain holes’ draw

with the unfathomable force that those toothpick sticks belie as the pounding punishing pulse of the

thunderous shower stream pushes and the suction below pulls.

That’s the way it is with nature and words, that suspension between sense and salvation.

Remembering Boredom

  
Sometimes I forget not to be bored.
 
I only remember when I am wishing some horror would end, 
like when pitched to the pivotal moment just before a pronounced sentence,
a reading of my fate.
 
Or, little less than terror, a performance evaluation 
by a man sitting at the back of my classroom with a pen, eyes, ears and judgment,
leaning on every word, gesture and response. 
 
I am notated.
 
Anticipating the fall while peering over the precipice, 
these are the times I pray for the ordinary I eschew every other moment of every day:
 
the groans and dull-eyed drudgery of waking, pissing, showering, caffeinating
and driving the drive in unrelenting heat circulating about my head
blown by the broken air conditioner of a beat up car awaiting the junk yard,
or the crying mop times of late night I’m-just-too-tired-to-do-this moans of despair—
 
for the boredom, tedium, godawful-lobotomizing numbness of mindless repetition
like factory fingers twisting bow knots on an endless assembly line, 
the industrial rosary, sans soothing rhythmic sync.
 
Deimos and Phobos, moons of my memory, usher me back to boredom, 
box seat of the stadium, luxury of the lucky lottery winners of life,
born colorless, coddled and cocooned.