In the gaze of the other

"My mistress' eyes are nothing…"

42 Years a Secret Mistress

2 Comments

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A journalist and mistress of 42 years writes lovingly but not without misgivings about her life as the other to the only lover she had. Look closely at the psyche of the mistress as she grapples with love, pride, joy, guilt and regret. Her role is complex and sheds light on the mistress in all people who indulge in their greatest, most illicit (by society’s mores) loves or lusts whether that be music, poetry, sex, drugs or chocolate, to name a few. The joy that causes pain, the guilt and responsibility to community, to an other, and deep desire cast shadows on a lifetime of love. Truth and honesty are always in the forefront of the sacrifice in being the mistress, expecting and not daring to expect either or both. This author writes herself well.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2541643/I-secret-mistress-42-years-Why-one-womans-enduring-passion-married-Zulu-screenwriter-John-Prebble-left-haunted-regret.html

2 thoughts on “42 Years a Secret Mistress

  1. A beautiful and moving story of true love. It appears to me that Jan was his real love. He only married Gail to legitimize the child, but showed he was a man of loyalty, honor and integrity by staying by her side. Some may scoff at those adjectives because he had a mistress, claiming that a man who does can not possess those qualities. I believe that thinking to be completely wrong. He did not ‘love’ Gail as he did Jan but he honored his promise to her. Jan made the decision to enter into a lifetime clandestine with full knowledge of what to expect. Her choice was her own.
    The love John and Jan shared was deep, moving, and genuine. They remained loyal to and honored each other the rest of their lives. Their love was a sincere exchange and sharing of commitment made freely and willingly without the prodding of unintended children. I honestly think it is more correct to think of Gail as the mistress in this circumstance. I speak on this from experience. The woman with whom I have formed a bond of love is married, making me her ‘mister’.

    • The dynamic of roles is interesting, to say the least, and brings up the question of which is the mistress and which the wife? Of course, this article is written by the mistress. The wife’s take on the triad might be more interesting.
      We don’t know how John felt about his wife, whether his love was mere duty bound or whether he truly loved her from the start or with time. It is possible to love more than one person at the same time, and each person fosters a different kind of love grown from the circumstances of meeting, happenstance, characteristics or time.

      You have a unique perspective to share. How does it feel to be a mister?

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