Credit: bleedingcool.com
Trying to find some clues as to the usefulness of shame in love, I came across this article, “In the Name of Love” by philosopher Aaron Ben Zeev, that quite frankly did not help me at all. Maybe I am missing the point, not reading well. I did find some portions of the article interesting but I did not understand much more than shame and love are both powerful emotions that can either build or destroy. Am I missing something? Does this article clarify the relationship between love and shame? It’s short, so feel free to read and comment, educate me.
In the gaze of the other 
I agree that it does not clarify the relationship between love and shame, but I also believe it wasn’t meant to. I think he was trying to equate the two in terms of effect upon our lives, emotions, and psychology, saying that they are equally powerful in opposite ways.
Simple as that, ok. Thought I was missing some greater insight or connection.
This guy dwrote this article you have referred to is full of himself. First of all he speaks as if from a position of authority, he is not, especially in regards to the conclusions he has drawn and propounded as truth or the result of some effort of science. The writing is dry and labored, the words counted. There is no reason to regard this as a legitimate exploration of the love or shame.
What is so interesting is that it seems to say more than it does. There are significant turns and phrases that seem as if they are going to churn something important out, but then poof, nothing.