In the gaze of the other

"My mistress' eyes are nothing…"

“Women Hold the Key to Marital Bliss”

10 Comments

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Photo: Andrea Obzerova/Shutterstock

Well of course they do. Generally speaking, parents foster emotional intelligence in little girls, at least in Western cultures, so women are better at identifying and naming specific items of redress in an emotional domain such as marriage, love relationships. They can speak the language of emotional discourse and are less likely to lose their balance when the dizzying frays of discord strain individual temperament, patience and understanding.

Though the study is not new, from September 2014, the findings not startling, it was curious that the Journal of Marriage and Family just recently studied and concluded the above-titled findings. But I like an article such as this one that appears in NY Magazine because it details the source of the study and the methodology, thus lending credibility to the information and affording the reader an opportunity to assess the value of the conclusions. Sociologists at play. The writers are also respectful and cognizant of the dangers of stereotypical gendered assumptions–like the ones I made above.

It’s a short read. The authors conclude that women are better at talking about their feelings, which may be the reason for their holding the happy marriage card, but I can think of other reasons historical, biological, cultural and sociological.

What’s your take?

10 thoughts on ““Women Hold the Key to Marital Bliss”

  1. My take? Something primal about being able to satisfy the woman you love. I’m one of those guys if a woman starts crying the world comes to a complete stop until her emotions have been addressed, her battle fought and won as if you’re her knight in shinning armor. I can think of no greater sense of satisfaction when you see that smile and look in the woman’s eye that makes you know you’re okay with her. Feels like a slam dunk, at least for me.

  2. Because women hold the key to a man’s sense of acceptance, and that what guys are pretty much all about. Even the biggest or richest man can be cut to shreds by the wrath of a woman. Why a woman can bring a man down from the highest perch I guess. Without the acceptance of the woman you love, life isn’t much to enjoy.

    • All people want love and acceptance. I am guessing you mean men are more motivated figure out how to achieve that acceptance by women, and so the illusion of women being the key-holders to marital success.

      • Well, I don’t know how to say it, it’s more than acceptance I guess. I think of the boyfriends threw themselves in front of their girlfriends in that theater attack, sacrifice themselves to protect her, it’s something a man does without thinking or hesitating because it’s like a hard wiring deep inside. My mastery of words is not such that I can describe the feeling I guess. Maybe more than just acceptance but a justification to one’s self that they are a man capable of fulfilling a man’s role. Something primal about it. Women and children first kind of concept that men must do battle and sacrifice themselves to preserve the species.

  3. I can remember watching a film about New Guinea warriors in the jungle. A warrior in tears as he found himself alone, after years of fighting, he had grown older, through the years of fighting all he loved had been taken. Despite his status as a great warrior, survivor beyond all others, he was in tears in this film. Men are not stand alone items I suppose.

  4. Just saw this and it seemed relevant:
    “When you educate a man;
    you educate an individual.
    When you educate a woman;
    you educate a generation.”
    ~ African proverb

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