Today I am not…

  
1. Dying of cancer

2. A refugee

3. Mourning the loss of a loved one

4. Unemployed

5. Incapacitated by illness or loss of limb

6. Alone

7. Childless

8. Parent-less

9. Abandoned

10. Living in a war-torn country

11. In danger of losing the safety of shelter

12. Hungry

13. Unloved

14. Empty

15. Sensorily impaired

16. Born to the hordes of un- and under-privileged

17. Devoid of wonder

18. Unable to experience beauty

19. Unable to create or feel

20. Under threat of destruction by weather, natural disaster, aliens, calamity or death by natural causes.

…and so, I have already won the lottery.

Transformation

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Spoke a spiritual self,

and my world swelled

my head full visions of life

intent on living with intention;

realities and modalities flickered

like moths worshipping tensile light

before me like a card bridge in mid-shuffle

soon folding in flattened before the game begins.

Observation and witness transforms without elimination.

Pure illumination: Intend first and the rest unfolds manifest.

Remembering Boredom

  
Sometimes I forget not to be bored.
 
I only remember when I am wishing some horror would end, 
like when pitched to the pivotal moment just before a pronounced sentence,
a reading of my fate.
 
Or, little less than terror, a performance evaluation 
by a man sitting at the back of my classroom with a pen, eyes, ears and judgment,
leaning on every word, gesture and response. 
 
I am notated.
 
Anticipating the fall while peering over the precipice, 
these are the times I pray for the ordinary I eschew every other moment of every day:
 
the groans and dull-eyed drudgery of waking, pissing, showering, caffeinating
and driving the drive in unrelenting heat circulating about my head
blown by the broken air conditioner of a beat up car awaiting the junk yard,
or the crying mop times of late night I’m-just-too-tired-to-do-this moans of despair—
 
for the boredom, tedium, godawful-lobotomizing numbness of mindless repetition
like factory fingers twisting bow knots on an endless assembly line, 
the industrial rosary, sans soothing rhythmic sync.
 
Deimos and Phobos, moons of my memory, usher me back to boredom, 
box seat of the stadium, luxury of the lucky lottery winners of life,
born colorless, coddled and cocooned. 

In Our Againstness

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It is easy to be anti.

Sew any position,

idea,

suggestion,

politics,

plan,

stance,

ideology,

life-choice,

selection,

belief,

imagination,

project,

offering,

words,

lifestyle,

body,

work,

design,

opinion,

promise,

intuition,

product,

opportunity,

advice,

action,

money,

art,

sensibility,

interest,

heart,

and/or decision;

then find the furthest pole—

the apogee to the perigee,

south to north–

and clothe yourself in it,

wear it like a challenge

and fight, live and die for the right to be it–

cloaked in against-ness.

Far easier than crafting a conscious cushion,

considerately embroidered,

seated somewhere in between,

not necessarily half-way

but somewhere along the imaginary stitching

that traces the path from me to you.

Not compromise but creation.

Why the Word ‘Should’ is a Lot Like ‘Stupid’

  
In today’s The Mindful Word appears this personal essay about guilt, obligation and giving, something I started to think about over the week and completed to publication.
 
When are we merely “giving to get something” as Joni Mitchell sings in “People’s Party”?
 
At 55, those delightful yoga sessions that instantly feel delicious deep down in the sinews and muscles, triggering pleasure sensors in the brain, are farther and fewer in between, even in a daily practice. Most days that great good feeling opens up only after slow beginnings, working steadily into full-throttle fluidity and warmth. I treasure those moments of recognizing deep physiological release and mental liberation. My mind soars with my body’s surrender to more, deeper, and longer stretches, everything opening, including …

Read the rest here.

Conversations

  
A woman I know told me, “Do what you love,”
but I loved her and she was taken–with someone else,
so I couldn’t do her.
 
A man with very short hair, shorn I would say, advised,
“Don’t be afraid to let your hair down sometimes.”
My hair was longer than days back then.
 
A fellow friend asked yet again, “If we were lovers,
would we still be friends?”
Friends don’t let friends ask sleazy hypotheticals.

 

Considerate giving as gift

But at 55, the should’s should not be gripping me as they do in tortuous roads to re-realization that giving to get something is not giving, and thoughtful consideration of my intentions—a mere pause or micro-meditation–relieves me and everyone I touch of unfulfilled obligations and responsibilities to me and those who depend on me.

rsz_considerate-giving-as-gift-003

Giving with expectation, without right to give away what belongs to another–time, energy, and money–is not proper giving. It is merely exchange or thievery.

GHOSTING: Passive-aggressive discourtesy can be a lesson in manifesting the self

ghosting-manifesting-self

A piece I fleshed out from a sketch I posted earlier on this blog, this personal essay on The Mindful Word was published yesterday. I hope you enjoy it.

The act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is…(read more here)

Outdoors Yoga on OutsideMyWay.com

  
I love this site and am so proud to have my first contribution published today. 

Fortunate to live in a sunny place, I have long ago adapted a love for outdoor activities. Whether I am up for a bicycle ride or jog along the beach, lining the sides of a soccer field to watch my daughter’s game or hiking at local day-long trails, soaking in the sun or even clouds and wind makes me happy, feel healthy and alive.

Since entering my fifth decade, however, my outdoor activities have changed. Before, running was always my thing, and mostly still is. A heart-pumping sweat feeds my healthy and happy. It used to quell my competitive spirit too when marathons and half marathons were my daily diet of training and racing…(Read the entire article here).

A Curious but Obvious Notion

I nearly always practice yoga in the solitude of my room, yoga mat spread flat and cushy on the clearing between my bed and doors, bathroom and bedroom. The spot is spacious enough, though I often disappear from wherever I am anyhow, closing my eyes in movement, shuttering my awareness to the outer material world as much as possible. I do not feel this kind of freedom in a class.

One consistent ritual in my practice is to light incense, some evergreen, pine or reedy scent reminiscent of the earth’s goodies. I am not sure when or how I switched from scented candles to incense, but I burn incense now as I have for years. To complement the scents, I click on my Native American flute ensemble station on Pandora to hear the hollow wooden whistles of the fluted chorus sung through the wind or birds, screeches of eagles, or even drums of thunder and clackle of wampum. Sometimes I listen to the sound of simulated light or water in vibrational tones or wind chimes. Anything to cast away the walls as I salute the sun through and past the house rooftop.

But it recently hit me. The memories of moving through asana practice outdoors, like that yoga on the beach or in the park series, bring me peace, thinking how I glimpsed the indivisibility of the inner and outer worlds integrated then. The juxtaposition of moving inward while outside brought everything yoga I had read, practiced and believed into focus. Moments of fluidity of mind and matter.

It all makes sense. Inside, the impulse to move inward is driven by outdoor signs; outside, the drive to move inward out into the expanse pivots from the outside moving inward and back out again, both inward and outward absorbing all as one. Not so much an epiphany as a slot-filling, the answer finally catching up to the question.

Namaste, as you were.

One Naked Poet, the Gaze.